their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
