This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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