remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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