Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Randomize
