Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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