cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
