i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Randomize
