first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
zippers are such a cool invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize