i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
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Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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