No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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