Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
the raccoons are back...
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