I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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