he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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