I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
