There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
