I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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