I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize