She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
