i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.