Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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