I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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