What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
