Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
