your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
