I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
