ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
