I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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