home. puking in laundry basket.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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