Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
