69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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