you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
