question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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