I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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