Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
