i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
