i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
