he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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