ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
We have started to decorate penises.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
