ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
