No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
