a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
