We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
