dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Randomize
