Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize