There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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