you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
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