it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
