i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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