Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
What changed your mind?
Being sober
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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