Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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