I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
